Changed

today i hav my 2 hrs calculus+2 hrs statistic lessons in nsysu...
since i graduated from fy, i hav nvr been so "well-behaved" attend all the classes...

haiz...
felt very sleepy during the boring calculus...
felt very angry when i cannot understand the statistics thing i hav no textbook to read...

and another important thing tat let me hate to go for lesson is
I HAVE TO EAT BIAN DANG AS MY LUNCH!!!!! SHIT!!!!!

i m not a choosy person
but the bian dang really...
oh...my english is not good enough to describe the "tasty" NT50's lunch box
the onli thing i can said is
TODAY IS MY LAST BIAN DANG IN THIS UNI!!!!!

ok...
back to my main point tat cause me to blog in my lousy english
(dun laugh at me ok? jus treat as i m preparing for my academic writing...)

today
2nd people said i hav changed since they knew me...

i wonder
hav i changed?
or jus they were not knowing me well before...

i ask him to say how bad i m before
i din deny tat at the moment i heard the truth, i m abit angry
but after 5 sec, i noe this is wat i wan
a friend who dare to tell me wat he/she really thinking about

they said(i dunno whether they got discuss this thing anot=.=")
i turn good

but in my view
i think i turn bad

before, i laughed onli when i m in nice mood
now, most of the time i jus smile
smile for nothing
smile to let me look like a friendly person...

i m not a friendly gal edi...
i dun like those "friends" who jus approach me when they need my help...
of course i ll still help them if they still dare to ask for my help...

i plan to be a emotionless person...
i wont let others to hurt me anymore...
i noe没有心的人是不会伤心的……

i wish
i can talk(not by typing) to them...
i really wish to noe, why they think i turn good...

but it is impossible
at least impossible in these few months...

i wonder
is it i m the person "fa yang guang da"(of course i m not the 1st person) to choose fee paying instep to hav a chance to exchange...
many people come wit me this sem...
i heard tat many people plan to come next sem...

8 malaysian included me come this sem...
but till now, i jus go out wit xiaomei
we din join others...

i dunno m i right...
but at least wont hav big touble happens...
everytime i tell myself
"xiaomei dunno them...and she seems not willing to go wit them...i hav to acc her..."

of course this is 1 of the reasons
but this is jus 1 of the reasons...

i cannot tell wat are the other reasons
i dunno too...
or i jus dare not to think about it...

finally finished all the things i wanna fa1 xie4...

all my dear friends
now u noe why i wan to type in english and type so many fei4 hua4 in front?
jus because...
i wan to hide my secret...
hide from those who are not patient
when reading english blog...
esp reading my poor english...